I just can't not share this.
"Suppose you are a gardener employed by another; it is not your garden, but you are called upon to tend it... You come one morning into the garden, and you find that the best rose has been taken away. You are angry; you go to your fellow servants and charge them with having taken the rose.
They will declare that they had nothing at all to do with it; and one says, 'I saw the master walking here this morning; I think he took it' Is the gardener angry then? No, at once he says, 'I am happy that my rose should have been so fair as to attract the attention of the master. It is his own: he hath taken it; let him do what seemeth him good.'"
It is even so with your friends. They wither not by chance; the grave is not filled by accident; men die according to God's will. Your child is gone, but the master took it; your husband is gone, your wife buried - the Master took them; thank him that he let you have the pleasure of caring for them and tending them while they were here, and thank him that as he gave, he Himself has taken away."
- Charles Spurgeon
Amen.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Doc Appointment Update Aug 25
Well thanks for your prayers everyone, I can honestly say that for the first time in a while I am feeling really at peace and ready for delivery. Don't get too excited, we still have about 4 weeks to go, but I am more and more ready to meet our little girl and enjoy the time we have with her. It is really a blessing not to be scared of all of the unknowns we are facing, I know that is a gift from Heaven above!
Our doctor's appointment went fine. Evie's condition is the same, her little arms and legs are farther behind than last week, and the amniotic fluid level is rising. She has a full head of hair, on ultrasound it looks like she has a little halo around her sweet head (: I have about a 20% chance of going into pre-term labor because of the fluid... I'm not too concerned about that with the exception that if my water breaks it's not going to be pretty (extra fluid... you get the picture). So I'll be bringing a sweater to tie around my waist everywhere I go... just in case!!! When we were talking about induction the word "tidal wave" was thrown around between John and my doc referring to if they break my water... which was funny until I thought about it happening spontaneously - which is not funny!
Other than that I have started subbing and helping out at my dad's office a little which is a great break from staying home, and John's work is going well. Lyla is being so great, her bouts of the "terrible twos" are very few and far between. I hear a 3 year old is a "well trained 2 year old" but she is such a softie I am praying that she skips the terribleness altogether. Those of you who have kids are probably laughing, but I can hope right!?
Thanks again for your prayers, I posted delivery prayer requests a few days ago, if you want to check those out. Other than that I am sleeping well, eating well, and feeling altogether pretty good. Praise God!
Love you friends, thanks for checking in (:
Lindsey
Our doctor's appointment went fine. Evie's condition is the same, her little arms and legs are farther behind than last week, and the amniotic fluid level is rising. She has a full head of hair, on ultrasound it looks like she has a little halo around her sweet head (: I have about a 20% chance of going into pre-term labor because of the fluid... I'm not too concerned about that with the exception that if my water breaks it's not going to be pretty (extra fluid... you get the picture). So I'll be bringing a sweater to tie around my waist everywhere I go... just in case!!! When we were talking about induction the word "tidal wave" was thrown around between John and my doc referring to if they break my water... which was funny until I thought about it happening spontaneously - which is not funny!
Other than that I have started subbing and helping out at my dad's office a little which is a great break from staying home, and John's work is going well. Lyla is being so great, her bouts of the "terrible twos" are very few and far between. I hear a 3 year old is a "well trained 2 year old" but she is such a softie I am praying that she skips the terribleness altogether. Those of you who have kids are probably laughing, but I can hope right!?
Thanks again for your prayers, I posted delivery prayer requests a few days ago, if you want to check those out. Other than that I am sleeping well, eating well, and feeling altogether pretty good. Praise God!
Love you friends, thanks for checking in (:
Lindsey
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Delivery Prayer Requests
Hi Friends!
I've missed blogging with you all lately. We had a rough week last week, I went from having a cold to something like the stomach flu, to not sleeping and being pretty full of anxiety. We finally got a good night's sleep Friday night and have been slowly climbing back up hill. Praise God John had most of the week off so he could help me with Lyla and I could get some needed rest.
I'm blogging a little early this week, our appointment is not until Tuesday, but it hit me on Friday that if we are induced at 37 weeks we only have about 4 weeks, or a month until Evie will be born. While these past 8 months have dragged on at times, they have also flown by. I'll be honest, I spent a lot of last week feeling unprepared and pretty terrified.
Regardless, I have been thinking and praying about how I can ask you to pray for Evie's delivery. Here is a list that we have come up with so far:
1. That we can approach delivery and recovery with joy in anticipation of meeting Evie our precious daughter, and remove any anxiety we may be feeling.
2. That God will bless our doctors, nurses, and hospital staff that will be surrounding us through the delivery process.
3. That the delivery room will be free of anxiety and fear, and delivery itself will go smoothly.
4. That Evie will survive delivery and that her bones will not fracture as she is born.
5. That we will be filled with peace and strength in the Lord as we are faced with the uncertainties of Evie's health and future.
6. That John and I will be unified in decision making.
7. That Lyla will get a chance to hold Evie, and that our families will get to meet her.
8. That we can explain Evie's life to Lyla in a positive way that protects her heart.
9. That Lyla will be content staying with family during the time of delivery and recovery.
10. That we bring Glory to God in all circumstances and remember his promise to carry us.
11. That God will COMPLETELY and ENTIRELY heal our precious baby girl, and she will come home to live with us.
12. That we will stay healthy through the next 4 weeks.
Lastly, a lot of you have been asking me how you can help us, and honestly at this point I don't know. Lou and Carrie (John's mom and sister) are blessing us with a gift-card shower from California, to help with every day expenses so we can put our money toward medical expenses. THANK YOU California family and friends!!! We love you! Our church friends here at home are bringing us frozen meals - let me tell you how thrilled John is about having some home cooked food (not one of my strong points!) One of my mom's wonderful friends is lovingly making gowns for Evie that we can easily slip her fragile body in and out of while we are in the hospital, and my dear friend Michelle made Evie 2 blankets, one for her, and one that we can keep. Not to mention the countless emails, cards, waffle cone wednesdays, and phone calls we receive. I could literally sit here and cry (okay, i am sitting and crying) when I think about the kindness we have received from you all. They are the many different ways God is blessing us and loving us through you. I promise if we do need anything, I will let you know (:
SO THANK YOU for helping us prepare and celebrate Evie's life. Thank you for loving us, and going on this journey with us (: Praise God for his unchanging love and promises.
His many blessings,
Lindsey and Fam.
I've missed blogging with you all lately. We had a rough week last week, I went from having a cold to something like the stomach flu, to not sleeping and being pretty full of anxiety. We finally got a good night's sleep Friday night and have been slowly climbing back up hill. Praise God John had most of the week off so he could help me with Lyla and I could get some needed rest.
I'm blogging a little early this week, our appointment is not until Tuesday, but it hit me on Friday that if we are induced at 37 weeks we only have about 4 weeks, or a month until Evie will be born. While these past 8 months have dragged on at times, they have also flown by. I'll be honest, I spent a lot of last week feeling unprepared and pretty terrified.
Regardless, I have been thinking and praying about how I can ask you to pray for Evie's delivery. Here is a list that we have come up with so far:
1. That we can approach delivery and recovery with joy in anticipation of meeting Evie our precious daughter, and remove any anxiety we may be feeling.
2. That God will bless our doctors, nurses, and hospital staff that will be surrounding us through the delivery process.
3. That the delivery room will be free of anxiety and fear, and delivery itself will go smoothly.
4. That Evie will survive delivery and that her bones will not fracture as she is born.
5. That we will be filled with peace and strength in the Lord as we are faced with the uncertainties of Evie's health and future.
6. That John and I will be unified in decision making.
7. That Lyla will get a chance to hold Evie, and that our families will get to meet her.
8. That we can explain Evie's life to Lyla in a positive way that protects her heart.
9. That Lyla will be content staying with family during the time of delivery and recovery.
10. That we bring Glory to God in all circumstances and remember his promise to carry us.
11. That God will COMPLETELY and ENTIRELY heal our precious baby girl, and she will come home to live with us.
12. That we will stay healthy through the next 4 weeks.
Lastly, a lot of you have been asking me how you can help us, and honestly at this point I don't know. Lou and Carrie (John's mom and sister) are blessing us with a gift-card shower from California, to help with every day expenses so we can put our money toward medical expenses. THANK YOU California family and friends!!! We love you! Our church friends here at home are bringing us frozen meals - let me tell you how thrilled John is about having some home cooked food (not one of my strong points!) One of my mom's wonderful friends is lovingly making gowns for Evie that we can easily slip her fragile body in and out of while we are in the hospital, and my dear friend Michelle made Evie 2 blankets, one for her, and one that we can keep. Not to mention the countless emails, cards, waffle cone wednesdays, and phone calls we receive. I could literally sit here and cry (okay, i am sitting and crying) when I think about the kindness we have received from you all. They are the many different ways God is blessing us and loving us through you. I promise if we do need anything, I will let you know (:
SO THANK YOU for helping us prepare and celebrate Evie's life. Thank you for loving us, and going on this journey with us (: Praise God for his unchanging love and promises.
His many blessings,
Lindsey and Fam.
OH!, I'd like to give a shout out to the man... yes, my man... who painted Evie's room while I was away in Kansas City - shopping and eating good food - with my mom, grams, and sisters last weekend. John, you are unbelievable. Thank you (:
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Doc Appointment Update Aug 11, 09
Hi Friends and Fam,
Thanks for your prayers, Evie is still hanging in there. She slept through most of her ultrasound on Tuesday, which was very out of character for her, but made it easy to get some good measurements. She is doing about the same. Her arm, leg, and chest measurements are getting more behind each week. That is obviously disappointing. The doctor reconfirmed to us that with the way her little body is put together it is very rare that she will survive. Her hands were more open, which makes me happy since she hasn't opened them much. I love her sweet face more each time I get to see her!
Prayer requests include:
1. Evie's health and healing. God has led me to so much scripture lately on our heavenly bodies, and I feel like He may be preparing me to give Evie back to Him where she will be healed. I am still going to pray that she will stay with us here, but I know that God's wisdom is far bigger than my own plans, and I absolutely don't want her to suffer.
2. I have been more anxious lately (and honestly sometimes gut wrenchingly sad) as her birth approaches. We have made plans for what is to come, but nothing can prepare my heart to lose her.
3. That God will direct our decision making up to her birth, and take any big decisions out of our hands. and
4. I now have polyhydramnios, a fancy word meaning too much amniotic fluid. I am on the low end of "too much" and hopefully it will stay that way. The only side effect is that I will be more uncomfortable, but I can handle that. The high end of "too much" means we have to consider doing an amnio to remove some of the fluid and my risk of pre-term labor goes up. It would be nice not to have to worry about that! Kirstin has lovingly been calling me the Culligan Lady when I am winded from walking up the stairs (: it's nice to have some humor in my life!
I am making Evie a scrapbook with our ultrasound pictures, maternity pictures, hopefully newborn pictures, and emails. My rough copy of emails and blog messages is over 130 pages long! We feel so blessed to have your support.
Love you,
Lindsey, John, Lyla, and Evie
Thanks for your prayers, Evie is still hanging in there. She slept through most of her ultrasound on Tuesday, which was very out of character for her, but made it easy to get some good measurements. She is doing about the same. Her arm, leg, and chest measurements are getting more behind each week. That is obviously disappointing. The doctor reconfirmed to us that with the way her little body is put together it is very rare that she will survive. Her hands were more open, which makes me happy since she hasn't opened them much. I love her sweet face more each time I get to see her!
Prayer requests include:
1. Evie's health and healing. God has led me to so much scripture lately on our heavenly bodies, and I feel like He may be preparing me to give Evie back to Him where she will be healed. I am still going to pray that she will stay with us here, but I know that God's wisdom is far bigger than my own plans, and I absolutely don't want her to suffer.
2. I have been more anxious lately (and honestly sometimes gut wrenchingly sad) as her birth approaches. We have made plans for what is to come, but nothing can prepare my heart to lose her.
3. That God will direct our decision making up to her birth, and take any big decisions out of our hands. and
4. I now have polyhydramnios, a fancy word meaning too much amniotic fluid. I am on the low end of "too much" and hopefully it will stay that way. The only side effect is that I will be more uncomfortable, but I can handle that. The high end of "too much" means we have to consider doing an amnio to remove some of the fluid and my risk of pre-term labor goes up. It would be nice not to have to worry about that! Kirstin has lovingly been calling me the Culligan Lady when I am winded from walking up the stairs (: it's nice to have some humor in my life!
I am making Evie a scrapbook with our ultrasound pictures, maternity pictures, hopefully newborn pictures, and emails. My rough copy of emails and blog messages is over 130 pages long! We feel so blessed to have your support.
Love you,
Lindsey, John, Lyla, and Evie
Friday, August 7, 2009
Maternity Pics and thoughts for the week...
Hello! Well we don't have all of our maternity pictures back, but the AMAZING photographer Catherine Bosley of Bosley Creative posted a few on her blog that I will share with you until we get the rest (:
our little family
Lyla being Lyla
me and my 3 favorite people
our little family
Lyla being Lyla
me and my 3 favorite peopleI know I haven't blogged a lot in the past few weeks... I think it's because my emotions seem to be changing every day. On the one hand I am so thankful for John, thankful for Lyla, thankful for family, thankful for friends, thankful for our church family, and so thankful that I am experiencing the blessing of being lifted up in prayer each and every day, making this time more blessed than it is painful. On the other hand, I am sad thinking about Evie's diagnosis, sad about her short life expectancy, sad about missing her grow up, and sad about the emptiness that I can start to feel when I think about her leaving me.
I was reading a blog that my sister sent to me from a friend of a friend, and one of my favorite entries is "Lord Give me the Wisdom NOT to Waste all of This!" I don't want to waste a minute of this experience feeling sorry for myself and not experience the joy of Evie's life. I don't want to waste a minute of the time we have with her grieving, we will have time to do that when she's gone. I don't want to waste a minute of these next 6-8 weeks of time that I have to prepare my heart to experience God's faithfulness... like the other mom said on her blog "He chose us for this, and if I'm going to walk through a valley of this magnitude, then you best believe I will not waste this. I will not walk out unchanged, lacking more than when I entered in."
Our next appointment is next Tuesday, with a family meeting on Friday. I will update more when we have more information. Keep praying for healing friends, nothing is impossible with God.
Love you!
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