April Showers...

bring crazy schedules???

Hi Friends (:

Last week I decided to sign Lyla up for swim lessons to get her ready for the summer, and with that one addition it looks like a bomb went off on my calendar! So I put the kids down early to sit down and take a little break (:

Happy Easter! He is Risen! I have put a lot of thought into how to post about Easter this year. I barely got through the weekend without shedding a few tears whenever a song would come on about our risen Lord. Aria had a scare last week, and I was reminded of how it feels to surrender our children to God. Evie has "coded" twice in her short little life, and both times I felt so out of control and helpless. The first time I guess I was pretty helpful since I had to pump the ambu-bag to keep her breathing, but the second time a rush of hospital staff came in to save her while we stood nearby and tried our best to explain her disease and beg them not to break her ribs with CPR.

When I was pregnant with Evie I told my mom I could handle anything, except if they told me she wasn't going to survive. Obviously that news was devastating. What do you do as a mother? I had another child to take care of, I couldn't cry ALL the time nor did I want to. So I decided Eve's life had already begun, and was continuing on inside of me until it was time to go. I remember spending one night, sitting on the computer just as I'm doing now, looking at headstones because I didn't think I would be able to pull myself together enough to do it once she was gone and I wanted hers to be beautiful.

I read on another mom's blog about visiting her daughter's "doorway to heaven," her place of rest. I read the story of her dying in her mother's arms, as it was thought Eve would do. The only way I survived those few months was knowing that Jesus was waiting to take her home, and she would feel much more love in Heaven than she ever would here on Earth. God loved us so much, that he watched his very own perfect Son die to pay the penalty for MY sin, so that I could spend eternity with my daughter. To prepare a place for us to live, laugh, and spend time together forever.

So I spent a lot of time this weekend sheilding Lyla from the Easter Bunny and focusing her eyes on Jesus. It would be devastating for me if she misses the point. Yep, I'm turning out to be "that mom." (: I know we have a lot of years until she will fully understand the story, but I figure I can't erase what I fill her mind with in these formative years. Hopefully she wasn't the only kid who got a note from the ol' Bunny that said "He Is Risen! Love the Easter Bunny." I told her he is so happy that Jesus is Risen that he hides eggs in everyone's yards to celebrate, to which she replied, "that's weird!" (:

Adding to our crazy schedule, this is Eve's 3 month week of blood draws, urine samples, xrays, a kidney ultrasound, PT eval, and a doctor visit... so we will be at the Med Center every day (: After a weekend of celebrating I'm going to cherish the time we get to spend together, even if it's at the hospital for a few hours.

Love you friends! Thanks for checking in with us, you guys are the best.

PS - I am in the process of uploading pics from our camera... coming soon!!!